My 2009!

I have had a great 2009!

For 1st half of the year, it's boring, slow but relaxing. But really, i felt so useless and demoralized.

But it all changed when i start working hard in june. Everything changed. My goal since June has been challenging, tough and it's a goal that seems so far. So hard to achieve.

First i scrapped through fastrack challenge in 2 months. but it's like so damn stressful.
Then i scrap through A&H by a little. phew.
and then! i hit Quality club!
Plus Quality Club elite that brings me to perth on perth!
Final results not out yet. But i should be near Starclub. That means, i can go spain!! Ahhhhhhhh!

It is the sense of pride of achieving!
It's from nuaing at home, playing pet society from day till night to:
Working 12 hours a day, standing at roadshows from day till night!

It has been tiring but rewarding. The target keeps me going. Though at times i fail to meet the sky high targets. But, at least, i tried.

I am leaving everything behind now and going for my korea trip and i am soooooo blooooody happiiieeeee! I don't want to be streesed by anything anymore. No. No more. I am tired.

I need to unwind, i need to go holiday,i need to go sentosa, i need to watch tv for 5 hours.

Its like finaaalllyy! I don't want to go countdown though. Too many people.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh! I am still very very happy!

why is it so hard.

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why oh why, why is is so hard to be nice?
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why do people step on your tail when you are nice?
why are (some) human beings so selfish and irritating?
why do they have to harbour bad intentions?
why so they always back stab?
why do they always annoy you?
why are they so irresponsible?
why are they are so fucked up?
why are they sucha mofo?
why are they always nice to mofos and mofos to the nice?



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i think i need to... think....
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i need to really think about being nice to people who deserves it.
i think the orphans deserves my attention.
i think the starving african, cambodian kids needs my attention.
i think the disabled needs my attention.
i think i need to join the charity team soon.
i think i need to fulfill my wish of organising a charitable event.
i think i need to stay away from disgusting people.
but again, i don't have a chioce, sometimes.



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my oh my. it's tough to be nice.
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still holing to the strong faith that kindness begets kindness.
please prove me right. please. gosh it's tough.
but i am standing strong. it's all in the mind.
play no mind games cause i give no shit about it.
you can try. but, you will never win.
i really cannot be bothered, for now.
still the happy me.

i need to work harder than usual

i haven had much luck at roadshow recently. yeh honestly, it demoralizes me. stresses me cos i am running for my rookie race.

but, i am over it.

i want to do well.
i want to show my parents, friends and people close to me that i can make it.
i want to be someone someday and i know 1 day i will.
i want sooooooooo much!

although lady luck is not shining on me now, she'll shine on me one day.
me and mei and pearly is motivated. we just need to be discipline! sure can make it!
see us fly.
i will succeed.

we are the V54 warlords and we will do our manager proud.
lady luck please shine shine shine! i need you!

i will not give up.

"you can't hit a target you cannot see, and you cannot see a target you do not have."

here's what in my heart.

i am always mistaken. ok, heres what is in my heart. and about myself.

you guys think i am mysterious, don't express my feelings much and i might be harbouring some weird thoughts. but honestly,

i do not comment much because it means i am adding fuel to the blaze. mum told me to not gossip much, and i trust that what she teach me is right. i am sure she will not teach me anything that'll harm me.

i may see, hear and feel hostility, but i refuse to react much. for i know, it does not end well anyway. might as well ignore it. yes i feel. i do. for i am human too.. i am just not as sensitive for i dream and daze most of the time. it dosen help that i am not obervant too.

i always trust that whatever carey and ern ern tell me or teach me, it will not harm me. esp carey. since its a direct relationship. so i trust them and their teachings. i believe what they tell me will be the best for me. i held this in full conviction. so don't need to tell me anything abt them, for i trust them too much.

i may not be the most sensitive person to another person's feeling. it's not because i don't care. it's just that i did not realise. if i do see, i'll care too.

yes i am happy most of the time. but how many times have you seen me upset while i was reflecting all alone by myself? yes, i'll feel sad too. for i am not god. i mean, is it wrong to be happy most of the time? honestly, i am just being positive. taking things easy. and i just want to focus on my career. i pick myself up pretty fast.

don't need to demoralize me. for i am strong inside. if i say i'll fly, i'll make sure that i fly.
i always believe if i want to do it, i'll make it.

kaiyan, i still miss you. although heaven takes you away. you are always here. in my heart. my god brother, my dearest friend. why are you not here to share my joy and sorrows anymore? you left too fast. bless me in heaven. tell everyone i am not who they think. and that i feel for them too.

my first facial

oh my god. i will not go facial again. It's soooooooooooo damn painful.

She started with washing my face and massaging my shoulder. Then comes the clensing. oh my goodness. she say she'll clear the impurities. i don't know la, she squeeze my face until i want to cry lo!

Then she took out this needle.

Me:"what are you going to do with the needle!!!!"

Her:" nothing."

oh my goodness lo.. she started pricking my face with the bloody needle. damnit. i really don't wanna facial again i swear to god. freaking pain. my poor face.

Then comes the mask! like finally my ordeal ends after what feels like day and night.

she cover my face with this cloth and i think it's damn funny i started laughing cos i look retarded. so i have decided to take picture of it and she happily allows me to!

Picture 1: she is using this tong to steam my face. she say there's some "Hua Tou" med in it.

Picture 2: before she apply the mask. Haha!

Picture 3: look at how retarded i am! hahahahhahahahaha

Painfully,

me!

my job

ok finally. i am gonna blog again. after months of stagnant post.

i love my job. though it is damn tiring.

it hurts my feet and drain my soul. running a race so tough sharpens me.
seeing my clients benefiting from my advice gives me pride and satisfaction.
yes i am prideful so i don't pester people to sign up plans.
my job is nv to pester.
i love what i am doing and i am running for my rookie race.
seeing my fellow V54 warlords working hard makes me work harder.
my dark eye circles are killing me.
i wrote this admist my tiredness, so its gibberish. pardon me cos i am too tired to do spell check.
its stressful cos i can only run rookie for once in my life.
i love my manager carey cos i know she won't do anything to harm me.
she love us all; her V54 baby warlords.
i hope she'll get her top AM award cos it gives our team pride and honour.
fuck it if you think i am a sucker. i don't give a shit.
i meet so many people i know who is cock and who is not.
i know who is sincere and who is not.
so please, you don't have to lie genius.
shit to all losers.

Zzzzzzzz,
the girl who surveys.

Drive in me.

I used to have alot of passion and drive in things i do. Esp during the younger days in school.

Competitiveness drives me to to work hard and to strive to be the best. (Not academically though! Maybe only certain subject that make perfect sense to me.) I have always wanted to be the best, that one who wins and the girl who is capable of achieving of whatever she wants if she wants to.

Steven (Ex-manager) ever told me: "i know you are capable of achieving of whatever you want if you want to do it." It bore strong memory as i knew, he meant it. And for all i know, i can make it. It motivates me or rather, it boost my confidence to an even higher level. He always knock sense into my puny little malfunctioning brain when i needed it the most.

Anyhow, in this past 2 years, i have not been achieving much (or to my own standard rather) and have not been doing any sports actively. Morale is low-low as i felt so lazy and i tend to bum around. I have been bumming for the ast 5 months and it's quite relaxing and at the same time, the pride in me reminds me that i have to do something about it. Something great, something big, something to push me to excel and to get back what i have lost.

Where's my drive? I don't know.
Where's my motivation? I really don't know.
I am getting too comfortable and i felt useless. No good.

I realise, I do not have an end goal in mind! I need an end-goal. An end-goal that is hard to achieve and yet, i can make it. I have done it before and i will make it happen again.

Fate lies in my own pair of hands. Open your eyes and see me fly. I am gonna make a come-back and i will. For as far as i know, i am capable of doing things that i want to achieve. I meant what i say and time will tell.

Thank you Steven! I really appreciate that you dote on me, make me a better person and taught me my first ever firm handshake!

I did some good for Earth Hour! Stop animal abuse!

Can you see my cute pet's house with the "VOTE EARTH" message?!

That's what i have done to spread the message. Hehe.

Only pet society gamers could see.

By the way, i love animals, so i hate animal abuser!

"STOP ANIMAL ABUSE!"

Please don't do this to animals.
They have feelings and they could feel the pain too.
If you want to keep them, love them.

Unreasonable ang mo women! Crazy!

I was rushing to Bedok Reservoir to support Chris and the PLK Paddlers few days back in a cab then me and cabby met this f.up ang mo women.

We were turning in to the carpark then we saw this ang mo women with her 2 child, one riding a bicycle and 1 on the blading stuff. (Can't remember what it's called.) Anyway, they were like occupying half the carpark lane! So the cabby was nice enough to caution her with a light horn that we were behind and to let her know we were approaching, so she could get her kids safely to the side of the road to avoid getting her 2 kids hurt.

Instead of appreciating the cabby's good intention, we saw her screaming and strutting towards the cab cursing and swearing! She then SLAMMED/PUNCHED the window (Driver's seat area) and open the driver's door and SCREAMED AT HIM! She said something like: "WHY DID YOU HORN AT MY KIDS?! WHY DID YOU FUCKING HORN?!" and a hell lotsa cursing that at least for at least 3 minutes! After she finish screaming, she slammed the door shut and walked off. Obviously, the taxi driver was damned pissed and ask her why the hell he can't horn? He told her: "I have the right to horn!... blah blah blah" I thought that was absolutely reasonable. Then crazy ang mo women threatened to report to the police. WTF?!?

Seriously, i hope she does so the cabby could sue her for slamming his window and door and for putting up with her unreasonable insults. Stupid women. I mean, she rather her kids get run down by the car than to be cautioned to move to the side? Sometimes, they deserve some beating. Like real bashing up. They deserve some punishment to keep their mouth shut and to be nicer to other people. I hope she gets beaten up by some ah bengs and ah lians. Nay, just saying for fun! Ha! She might in a bad mood but that's not a reason to behave like a barbarian in public. So uncivilized and uneducated.

Must be hubby don't wanna hey sho! Tsk

How crazy and uneducated can she get? She started ranting, slamming people's door and insult the cabby and want to report him to the police. She was lucky that the driver was not some ah beng driver or some ex-gangster shit. Like seriously! She would have ended up six feet under with her flesh torn apart. Or gang raped. (Touchwood!)

Aiya, she piss the cabby off lah! I condemn such acts! But i would have ignored her. (Maybe)

Mum once taught me:
Mum: "What would you do if someone scold you in public?"
Me: "SCOLD BACK LAH! LIKE EVEN LOUDER! Beat her up beat her!"
Mum: "So you mean if a dog bite you, you'd also lay down on the floor and bite the dog back?"

Happy birthday to me me me!!

Happy birthday to meeeeeeee, Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeee,Happy birthday happy birthday, Happy birthday to meeeeee~ *Clap clap!~

It weird that i din really wanna celebrate big for my birthday this year cause it's like i have no mood for it. It's totally like reminding yourself you are 1 year older and that sucks! I am forever 18! *oh she's dreaming, look so old still thought 18* Like if that's what you are thinking, you are simply jealous of me~ I don't care but that's the ultimate conclusion. hrmp. lalalalalaaaaaaaa

I am soooo freaking happy that on my birthday, i met Teresa and Pearly. The triple trouble. It's like my best day in 2009 seriously. I realize i miss trissy baby and taggy poo so much and i felt so comfortable with them. They really make me laugh my night out with their lame, stupid and irritating jokes. So my bday was eventually a happy ending. We were looking for spa to go the entire day and all the stupid spas are all fully booked! I tot it's economic crisis?!? What property meltdown, retrenchment? But everyone goes to spa! So we are not in a recession can. News lying! Then ultimately, we went to the fearful FISH SPA!

The ambiance was great! It's a pub with pool table, fish spa, ktv and machine game slots. So i guess it's a refreshing change to start with. So much fun there! Initially we were like: "arghhhhhhhh!!! The fish so irritating!! Go away suckers!!" Dipping into the pool was horrifying. Imagine, 200 black scary looking fishes zooming to your beautiful feet like they are going to eat you up. What if somehow one or two fishes has got mental problem and choose to bite me?! You'll nv know~ So we played a game, 5,10. Losers dip into the pool for 5 seconds!

30 mins into the fun and here comes my little surprise! My wonderful chocolate banana cake from trissy baby and taggy! and the beautiful Philippine waitresses sang a birthday song for me!~ Oh that's so so so nice of them. Oh gosh, i realize the wonderful feeling to being surprised now.

Tadah~ my totally well-deserved wonderful memory:

Picture1 : Pearls and triss

Picture 2: Triss and my bravery!

Picture 3: Nice swing obviously

Picture 4: Beautiful me swaying

Picture 5: The triple trouble

Picture 6: That's my first 30 mins ordeal

Picture 7: The triple trouble again.

Picture 8: My surprise cake and bday song sang!